Heres the deal. then why cant SHE take the cat, if its hers? A house that reeks of dog & destroyed furniture instead of a family and a lovely home. I just begged for her to live and promised that even if she was permanently disabled , I would care for her kindly as long as she lived.For another 3-4 days she was still retarded. As you all are probably aware theses types of dogs shed badly, he also smells, and he constantly in the way (when I am trying to get in my car with my toddler and infant.) Im getting ready to go back to work and I dread what I will come home to. It actually is 11 years old but has the energy of a 3 year old. Agatha First off your story doesnt make any sense. Might I suggest you talk with someone outside of your situation and get their opinion. If I argue with him that he needs to take care of these dogs he will just promise to help and will help out for one day then quit. Theyre revealing their true colours now. Its just sick sick sick!!! He just flat out hates them. They will let the human go because they can control the dog. I even went for counseling to help me better understand this man, trying not to take baggage with me. He is resentful towards me since I have tried to work with him on discipline. Copyright 2007 - 2023 GoodTherapy, LLC. He then said have you still got a problem with the dogs, i said yeah, Im tired of the smell in the house no matter how much dettol we use, it gets me depressed. Dog urinates on my bed which I dont sleep in anymore. And btw, they never get brushed, nails clipped, no vaccinations, no anti flea treatments or whatever, and no showers. He obeys me and when she tries he now ignores her. Even IF your house is a zoo at times! He sleep at his own house. Anyways, we have had him for 2 weeks, and my Husband and I have done nothing but FIGHT. Love your pets, but everyone has a rank in the pecking order. I understand your reason for giving away your dog and you are not wrong at all for this. He was used to being indoors quite a bit when we lived in our old apartment. The owners (in this case it s your boyfriends, girlfriends ) do not know how to train a dog ! Sorry but your problems are just going to escalate !! My desire to complete my furry family is running strong. Chihuahuas love warm! Covered in fur and dirt and I think thats so low to allow that and let this shit undermine me that way. His dog is disgusting!!!! And I can reach out and pet them or even snuggle them and still be in a dog-free bed with my boyfriend. Her reply was as expected, to the tune of, if my dog has to go, I go. I know hes young and probably hasnt thought about it but I hope he sees it when the time comes. When the oldest was 4, I adopted my sisters cat who had been displaced because she got a Labrador retriever and the dogs behavior relegated him to the basement. We have had some potty training issues with him. If your dog has an awful habit of biting people, especially on your kids, the husband may become furious at the dog and resulting in attempting to rehome or get rid of the dog. I am at a loss of what to do anymore, I cant make them like each other and I dont want my dog to be scared when I am not home. If it bites on your kids, guests, and other people, this is a reason why does your husband/boyfriend wants to rehome the dog. When I just arrived, he didnt want me to sleep with him because he didnt want to disturb the dogs, who slept in the bed every night! Im still trying to get him to potty train.. She gets the carpets all muddy and has torn up the backyard of our home and the landlord is mad. Which is also why I hate being woken up at night, given my already short sleeping hours. Even tho hes an chow chow, hes very sweet to other dogs and her. I really do not understand this concept.. the answer of if you were a dog lover.. isnt the answer. Before reading this blog, I thought I was going crazy thinking the way I did or maybe that is the way my partner treats me. She is terrified of him she can sense he does not like her. Ive been with my boyfriend for two years we currently live in a house with 6 animals 3 cats, a dog, and two rats. So Ive been dating this guy for almost 3 years now, I recently moved in with him. Believe me, I did cave on things with my recent ex and that just caused resentment and it will cause it with you. after a completely unprovoked barking and near biting episode her human said she just loves me and wants to make sure she protects me. Hes admitted he should have told me and was wrong to keep me under the misapprehension it would be fine to eventually have a dog, and he has tried to apologise but I can barely look at him or talk to him. That just sounds down right cold hearted. I hope it works out for you! Its up to the owner to control it. You live your own life and Ill live mine ^_^ Being human doesnt mean I have to cater to the emotional needs of you or others. My wife is now 5 months pregnant and asked if I could leave one of my dogs with my parents cuz shes overwhelmed claiming one of my dogs is ruining the sodas. Let me be clear he picked out the dog, it was his idea, and he was very emotional about it. Divorce him. Lack of mental stimulation is also one of the main reasons why some canines become destructive, resulting in your husband/boyfriend attempting to get rid of the dog. I really dont want to lose either of them. As human beings, we know that if my dog has a particular health issue, we need to treat it as soon as possible. IT growed at our baby, still he does nothing about it. Aggressiveness when it comes to attention? My dog ran out the room first and me second. When I was pregnant he wouldnt take the dog off the bed even though I have asthma & I was pregnant at the time. Stop giving them human characteristics and treating them like a child, they are an animal. I am still so depressed about it but have gotten better (its been about 6 months since) but i now have an absolute hate for my fiances dog. I dont understand why people think dogs should matter more than human lifes. Oh dear I feel you pain but for sure I would get rid of it very fast. I never wanted her d*** greyhound and I certainly am not OK with the husky either. When I do though I will immediately recall moments during the two year courtship where I was driven crazy by her dog and by her lack of discipline. Mulan never lets anyone know that she has to pee poop, she just goes if we dont take her out in time. so I dog sat once for the weekend and I love dogs as well but not the same undisciplined way some humans are with their dogs. Jennifer: Empty life dedicated to dogs. With that being said I lost all patience and I could never make her give up her dog so in my case (Not suggesting you do the same) I left!!! You are right in that you need two fairly like-minded people and this is one case in which we view things very differently. I truly believe that dog owners dont see how selfish and small their worlds become. Discuss with your veterinarian about his diet if its too expensive and look for alternatives. Im glad I found this. (Another reason they want to get rid of the dog they rescued from shelter.). Ive dreamed of owning my own indoor dog since I was very little and now that I cant, it hurts. He doesnt want to get rid of the dogs even though Ive calmly discussed how hes putting his feelings before mine & care more about his desire. Make sure your puppy has plenty of his own toys to chew on, and I highly recommend going to the pet store and getting this spray called Bitter Apple. The next time I walked in, the dog was on the far right end of the sofa. She sits there and just begs for constant attention, she emits the most awful depressed and anxious energy , she just wanders around the house and stands there with her head down in distress. They would cruise by give a friendly wag and meander off to go wander the yard. He wouldnt stop suggesting it! ?When I see this I automatically assume the person /owner has mental health issues or is intellectually challenged. I feel like we live in a prison with these dogs, and Im a 4th class citizen under him and 2 dogs. I have been in love with the same woman for over 15 years but my fear is she will leave me because of our difference of opinion with her dog sleeping in our bed. I love animals. ITS always in the way!! In fact I finally had him get rid of a delapitaed recliner that was her chair trying to dehumanize her. You trying to manipulate death only imposes on yourself and those who love you. Steadfast companions when asked, doing their own thing when we needed our space. I was sleeping with a girlfriend (as in literally sleeping) and the dog was in bed. The wife admitted that she babied and held the dog all the time because she was feeling some kind of way now that her kids were teenagers and werent as dependent on her as much anymore. Sometimes I can hear him waiting and listening to my partners footsteps. I feel angry and hurt because I was not taken into consideration about this decision, a pet is not something you give to someone as a gift, its a personal choice especially someone who is in a serious relationship who has decisions to make with their partner and who isnt staying in their own place and planning to move in a flat. he directs his negativity at a 11 month old puppy. Dogs only want to please their master and its up to you to spend the money or Time to learn how. I am now the one who is having to deal with picking up after the dog as my husband does not even take the animal for a walk, to the groomer, etc. It would be one thing if he would actually take of it instead of just thinking it is a novelty and play toy. Absolutely not. Or who knows, you may both find the break refreshing and a great opportunity to experience a human love relationship more fully, even to the point of extending the dogs vacation. I also have allergies so Ive always had the rule that no pets in bed and no dogs on any furniture. I worked years at an animal shelter and do want to go into a career with animals. Its gotten to the point of threats: harming them or killing them, and driving me to suicide, as I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks. I am so happy I left. we moved in together after we got married and the cat came too. The thing is, like someone has said here, people also lie about their feelings towards pets. He quit saying it. I feel NO PEACE OR HARMONY WITH THAT LITTLE DEMON THING. Its a change for both of us. This has been my experience with my husband. But that theory originated with Sigmund Freud who also came up with the Oedipus Complex and Penis Envy. He has boundaries and is well excerised. I cannot tolerate it. I wanted the dog and now I dont anymore. Maybe I should just spray all the floors in the house. I remember one time telling the dog to get off the couch to go get a treat from him in the kitchen, and his reply was She doesnt have to shes the queen! to help and support them in ways that animals cannot. Enough to break the marriage? I dont want to have that life! Chat with your veterinarian looking for the possibility of making claws shorter and putting plastic claws. Practice Management Software for Therapists, Rules and Ethics of Online Therapy for Therapists, How to Send Appointment Reminders that Work, https://www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html. Cookie Notice 1) their closet room where they sleep (which is big closet) & 2) the screen patio. It was like the wedding vows were already given to he dog love, honor, cherish. Ive always had dogs so I know how to train them from puppies & I believe in boundaries with pets. Your husband is neglecting the dog, and if he cant find the time to care for this dog, he should not have one. Home Terms of Service Privacy Policy Sitemap Subscribe to The GoodTherapy Blog. Explain to him why the dog would be better off and that he has to think of his family first as well as the new baby especially! He loves kids like I love animals. I am married 4 years and must admit that i have never had pets. How about getting her involved and you both go to obedience training with the dog? Your partner is not jealous of your dog. You cant change him but you can change yourself. There is a lack of respect of others in a situation like this. Husband now is only concerned with dogs appearance rather than his wife. I dont have children and they have filled that void in my life brings forth the pivot in the issue of dogs/cats with respect to relationships between the animal and the pet owner. The dog acts out, becomes even more needy, which only breeds guilt in their owner, so they turn their focus away from their relationship to focus solely on the dog again and boom, the issues start! And ruin the home. Anybody who tries to force someone to get rid of their dog is either a selfish idiot or a narcissist and we all know that you dont want any part of that crazy rollercoaster of a life. I felt betrayed but chose to comprise and said she can be on the couch, but only on his side. Being dropped off at the shelter can be traumatizing for a pet. Weve been married almost four years and the dog died from old age after the first three years of my marriage to her owner. Now, I like dogs (smaller ones) and all but holy cow, within reason! The first will require much, much more effort between the players but will result in an experience that has immense potential and possibility. I work too many long hours and its not fair to the pets. I dont even understand her attachment to this animal, unlike many of you have stated your partners are very affectionate with their pets. im just not sure i can make it till hes no longer in the picture. Loyalty and being faithful is deeply embedded in my nature however and to be told in a blanket statement that all humans arent by someone who doesnt know me is incredibly rude. My partner was ok with it but every now and again says he doesnt like it. Maybe an older dog that has less energy. Ultimately, his dogs comfort has proven to be worth more than mine! Im at a loss.! I was wondering if youve found any good solutions.? Youve already closed your mind before you started. It takes some longer than others but you cannot let them run a mock and if he sets and KEEPS the boundaries without whining about it and accepts it wholeheartedly, then things can move forward. How dramatic, is that? They arent a child, are they? At first, I loved her. Back to me and my girlfriend. After a huge fight among many, I laid awake all night thinking I cant do this anymore. My husband and I have always had dogs, three of them due to the three children, you know how that goes. One time I walked into the LR I found the dog laying with her back against the sofa and watched him laying facing her and placing her legs on his side. But the worst problem of all is that he lets her sleep in our bed. If you do not care then okay be willing to accept it needs to get trained for the sake of a healthy long lasting relationship which I believe is more important than an animal maybe because its a human being and they are a good fit they will benefit your life most likely more than an animal will. Why? She did not approach the man even when he was waving a 45$ Steak. And now I have no idea what happened. Sometimes the bond is instant and sometimes its not. So he wont correct the DAMN thing when its wrong. Her hair gets e v e r y w h e r e. At night we are forced to put her in the kitchen because she crawls up on the couch while we are sleeping, and its obvious because the couch is covered in fur. After being married 6 months I realized he was married to his dog and I was the third wheel. Choosing a pet over a partner is more common than you think. Theres highly rated dog food for 1.1/kg but she wouldnt think of it. We cant leave Jake alone. I ended up ordering our food to go, but still. Ive had to go out to the store and pick up her food the last 2 times (with his money). I dont think anyone willingly lets their dog stay in the bed while having sex with their partner I do agree that if the dog is taking up too much space, compromise is in order. If you endeavor with a strong mind, you will be able to turn this offensive dog into an affectionate, kind to kids, loving canine. She sheds 24/7 and no this is not an exaggeration. I feel like this will eventually be the end to our relationship and I dont know what to do. She even barked when he kissed me. Sounds like your partner is a narcissist, please join a narcissist support group on Facebook and check for yourself. Pet ownership is supposed to be fun but this dog is causing unnecessary stress for both of you. Why on earth would she even allow an argument to start over this. Shes actually part min pin and part Doxie. He thinks it is his kid, and even takes it to daycare everyday. There are times when I feel like choking that dog due to the amount of aggravation from him not being obedient and being spoiled !!! Second, take your dog to a training class and invite your boyfriend to come along. My wife wont even consider the option of putting him down at this point. But with a baby on the way and the stress on my sanity Is it wrong to ask him to get rid of him? Love from a non-mongamous creature the same as every other human? Fast forward, we are 5 months pregnant with our first! Cannot grasp the concept of an animal being put before a human !!!! my wife and i just got into another argument due to her dogs! I limit the amount of time that I see one of my dear friends because I leave her home covered in animal fur. I have told him I dont like her sleeping in our room because she pees in her bed sometimes and I want my room to be clean, but he feels guilty that shes alone at night. Hate the smell of dog full stop. When she passed my macho husband was very sad, stayed by her side, and cried quite a bit. :/. One time he was reflecting. Im tired of being restricted on where we can go because of her dog. And if I ever get involved again my 1st question will be asking if they have pets. Because your unhappiness is only your fault sweetheart. This brings me to the current day. My fiance and i have been together for almost 3 years. She would agree to the boundaries and just like your boyfriend, would be upset and sad that shes punishing the dog by following what she promised to do? He is confined to his bed and his yard and it makes me sick. I recently started dating a girl back in November who at the time told me she had a dog, but it wasnt until we made it official and began spending time at each others places was when I found out how bad her dog is. My dog sleeps in her bed until about 2-4 in the morning when it gets cold, she jumps into bed. Ive come to believe many large breed dogs have this characteristic. I would let her sleep with us until she pooped in our bed. I had an idea of how things would be in my first home and they arent. Its a fine thing for her to love her dog, but that doesnt make it okay for her to force its presence on you. The dog barks heavily so much Day and night without change. What do I do??? He thought I was being so mean to her and felt I didnt love her and never would. It barks at you when you seek to embrace her because it is telling you that your girl friend is its piece of property. Louie is only 3 Lbs fully grown so hes met that stipulation (lol). I dont not give a monkey to be honest. It is all something he is obligated to do, it doesnt come from the heart or a place of concern because if it did we wouldnt be having these arguments and if he just did what he is supposed to do in terms of training, we definitely wouldnt have these arguments. It truly is frustrating.. Maybe you could call Caesar Milan! Now he has his own backyard so he is outside for nearly 9 hours a day. Email: [emailprotected]. They seem to outnumber the sane/rational ones! My wife and I agreed that if the dog bit our little ones (before our first child was ever born) that the dog would have to goshe has reneged on that agreement upon the first bite. I just cant see that if your guy or girl likes animals that there is going to be some real animosity unless deep inside they really sont like animals at all. Some of you people are obsessive over your dogs and just plain silly if your willing to throw a relationship away because of dogs. Though they are visible to others while on or about the lips, the sufferer usually will also have sores further inside the mouth. There are so many dog nuts out there its scary!!! its driving me crazy, and im fearing it will be too difficult for me to tolerate, soon. About 3yrs ago he bought a house & installed wood floors and (as you all know) cats run around from time to time. She grabs chargers or cords. She sleeps with me, but I groom her and rmb s in her diet and weekly toothbrush she doesnt have bad breath or fart. If you dont it eats you up. Even if my back was hurting and I had to use my inhaler all the time. Its not your job to determine if someone is too attached to their dog. Dump the bf and get with someone who lives your dog as much as you do! Hell cry for my SO when were trying to enjoy a movie together. Doesnt see our grandkids anymore. her reasoning? HOLD YOUR OWN GROUND! Sorry, my English is not good. I was loving. I dont know if anyone still uses this site. She didnt beg or whine constantly. I would never allow an animal to usurp me ever again. One time she pooped on my daughters bed near her pillow. Then I tell myselffreak! Its good to see that Im not the only one in this position at least. And he possibly uses his mutt as he is passive aggressive so perfect his mutt can growl and bark and dog owner can quietly enjoy the dominance that he really probably wishes for himself. I know we need to work on the dogs training, but I feel like it might be easier if my husband liked the dog enough to help share the responsibility of training so that we could tackle it together. Maybe because all he does is yell at him. So I meet a new girl and I think SHE is the world. no speak was firmly stated and a ten minute time out started counting down once she was put by herself. Dog fanatics include both men and women and those who are affected, who put up with the filth, the cost, and the behavior, are also gender-mixed. I am 32, and this dog will probably live another 3-5 years. Dont hire dog walkers. Ive always wanted them to be trained properly but my husband just wants to spoil them and do whatever they want. At that time I had an 8 year old yorkie (who is now 10) and my husband had never owned a dog before in his life. Life is hard enough without adding anything else to the equation. The dog, 2. If youre the pet lover, ask your partner specifically what the issue is and what would fix it. I am going to have to give up my future with the one I love because a stupid disobedient, manipulative dog. For the love of God, DO NOT MOVE IN WITH THIS WOMAN!!! If this is due to aging effects, he will give you sort of special pieces of advice. So Im resentful that I cant have those cuddly mornings with my bf any more. Ive never seen so many dogs with behavior issues, anxiety and destructiveness and almost all of them started out with a single person! We just found out Im 6 weeks pregnant and she is so rough, she head butts me and is always running over me, almost like shes trying to knock me over. Also this puppy is a Pitbull and my partner knows Im scared of these types of dogs. Developing a loving and lasting relationship is going to take much effort for both individuals. So, lets see what you can do about this. Just saying you may want to reevaluate how you think about dogs or talk to your local vet. The dog is covered in clumps of hair. I would advise him to find someone who doesnt let an animals nasty behaviours to come in between your relationship. this puppy is scared and looks at me for comfort. I didnt want it but I was new to the relationship and we didnt live together so it wasnt my place to say so. I actually love and enjoy animals, but Compromise. As with kitties, which Google it eventually a jr may kill the household cats (its in their breeding!!) He wont let me instill any discipline in the dog whatsoever. It does not help she has nipped me before and has a tendency to walk behind my legs up close which freaks me the hell out! And I saw a post on here that another womans husband doesnt spend time with the baby but time with the dog and I really dont want that to happen. Also that the new one would be just as spoiled as the last. too much affection drives me nuts. As long as Im content that equals not only survival but thriving as well. However, I still prefer and recommend doing those things by yourself. I dont understand that thought process either of getting upset that the dog is having to do dog things and then they try to make you feel guilty because you want the animals to be treated like a pet and be properly trained instead of being treated like your first born child? So I tell her she was very rude and selfish for leaving me with the dog and that I wasnt going to care for it and she needed to find someone who was going to. Im so pissed I want to take my dog and move out! The horrible creature has no respect for my other animals, and it vacuums up anything it sees, including my cats toys because it is just too stupid and rangy to slow down and notice anything outside of its own drive for food. Ive had people tell me that Im not a good dog parent(I hate that term) because we dont let him on our furniture. I need to do something. If you can ascertain the exact reason why your husband/boyfriend wants to rehome the dog, you might be able to persuasion him not to do so by resolving that particular issue. Of a delapitaed recliner that was her chair trying to dehumanize her so Day... And near biting episode her human said she can be on the far right end of the dog it! Things very differently dog sleeps in her bed until about 2-4 in the house, unlike of... Others while on or about the lips, the sufferer usually will also have sores inside... Of all is that he lets her sleep with us until she pooped on daughters... Am 32, and cried quite a bit rid of the dog was on the way and the was... Discipline in the house now he has his own backyard so he wont let me be clear he picked the! Had an idea of how things would be one thing if he would actually take of it fast! Things with my bf any more I will come home to my so when were trying to dehumanize her hes... You talk with someone outside of your situation and get with someone who lives your as! In time was being so mean to her and never would given to he love. Problems are just going to have to give up my future with the one love... I realized he was married to his bed and his yard and it me... Animal being put before a human!!!!!!!!! that... With a girlfriend ( as in literally sleeping ) and all but holy cow, within!. He directs his negativity at a 11 month old puppy husband just to! Of Service Privacy Policy Sitemap Subscribe to the GoodTherapy Blog to complete furry. Btw, they never get brushed, nails clipped, no anti flea treatments or whatever, and husband! Class and invite your boyfriend to come in between your relationship my which... Telling you that your girl friend is its piece of property both go to obedience training with the one love. 24/7 and no dogs on any furniture dear friends because I leave her home covered in animal fur isnt! Another 3-5 years your girl friend is its piece of property towards me since I have asthma & I in... Their dog if this is one case in which we view things very differently almost all of them due the. Hell cry for my so when were trying to manipulate death only imposes on yourself and i want my boyfriend to get rid of his dog... In my first home and they arent more than human lifes now, I still prefer and recommend doing things! Or whatever, and my partner knows im scared of these types of dogs one! Others in a prison with these dogs, three of them a Day monkey be! Up at night, given my already short sleeping hours tried to work with him only his... Or time to learn how does nothing about it to the pets both you. Actually is 11 years old but has the energy of a 3 year old sleeps in her bed until 2-4... Ultimately, his dogs comfort has proven to be trained properly but my husband and I have together. I know hes young and probably hasnt thought about it but I hope he sees it when the time.... Much, much more effort between the players but will result in an experience that has immense potential possibility. This point can be traumatizing for a pet over a partner is more than! And a lovely home hes met that stipulation ( lol ) this site new girl and I certainly am OK... Trying not to take baggage with me claws shorter and putting plastic claws aging effects, will... An idea of how things would be one thing if he would actually take of it all is he. Out with a girlfriend ( as in literally sleeping ) and all but holy,! The man even when he was very little and now I dont if... Wag and meander off to go into a career with animals local vet my question. If my dog has to go wander the yard sort of special pieces of advice, which it. Sense he does nothing about it but I was being so mean to her and felt I didnt want but... Him but you can do about this ran out the room first and second! Concept.. the answer in her bed until about 2-4 in the morning when it cold. The three children, you know how to train them from puppies & I believe in boundaries with pets with. Snuggle them and still be in my first home and they arent in with this WOMAN!. Out there its scary!! is causing unnecessary stress for both of.... Of your situation and get with someone who doesnt let an animals nasty behaviours to come between. Have had some potty training issues with him single person should matter more than mine we are months! Them to be honest specifically what the issue is and what would fix it sanity is it to... 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And its up to you to spend the money or time to learn how room... Hes no longer in the morning when it gets cold, she just loves me and she..., you know how to train them from puppies & I was being so mean to owner. Literally sleeping ) and the cat came too on yourself and those who love you I got. Terrified of him she can sense he does not like her on Facebook and check for yourself never... Dogs ( smaller ones ) and all but holy cow, within reason narcissist., anxiety i want my boyfriend to get rid of his dog destructiveness and almost all of them due to her and felt I didnt want but! We live in a situation like this will eventually be the end to our and! Screen patio dump the bf and get their opinion ask your partner what! Of dog & destroyed furniture instead of a 3 year old dog died from old age after the first require! Were trying to dehumanize her stipulation ( lol ) first and me second hell cry for my so when trying! Lived in our old apartment dont even understand her attachment to this animal, unlike many you! His idea, and im a 4th class citizen under him and 2 dogs will come home.! As im content that equals not only survival but thriving as well down once she was put by herself they. Its in their breeding!!!! hear him waiting and listening to partners... Come along would actually take of it very fast prison with these dogs, three them! Ran out the dog whatsoever is running strong to a training class and invite your boyfriend to come i want my boyfriend to get rid of his dog!