(Note: In Vietnamese culture, odd numbers are typically considered to be lucky. In Vietnam, youll find musicians playing gongs and drums to honor the deceaseds journey to the afterlife. Traditionally, an oil lamp is lit and placed underneath the casket in a nurturing gesture to provide the spirit a warm resting place. This website uses cookies to improve your experience. If you're unsure what types of rituals to expect or whether you're welcome to participate in them, it's a good idea to consult with a family member first. In Vietnam as elsewhere, these ceremonies are predictable events in the steady unfolding of a life, as inevitable as the change of seasons. Later, adults and children will sing, eat rice soup, and play games until midnight. During a special occasion such as Dam Gio, the altar is decorated more meticulously with special pictures, items, and decorations brought out for the two days. Many Vietnamese are lactose intolerant as adults so do not consume much milk. In Vietnamese culture, it is believed that after death, the soul remains in limbo for 49 days before moving on to the afterlife. In Vietnamese culture, death is seen as a natural part of life and not something to be feared or dreaded. generalized educational content about wills. Spirits are invited to visit a household through prayers. Ancestor worship isnt as much a superstition as it is a religious practice in Vietnam. Twitter. Additionally, many Vietnamese mothers are expected to rest indoors (and even take no shower) for a month after giving birth. It is considered bad luck for menstruating women to light incense. Make a Cake end-of-life planning profile todayyou can discover, store, and share your end-of-life preferences with family and friends. During this time, families will gather together to offer prayers and offerings to the deceased. of an actual attorney. Trays of food are also placed in temples to worship gods and in front of houses for stray spirits. In the Buddhism religio Tip: If you plan on hosting a virtual funeral using a service like GatheringUs, discuss with your funeral planner or director on how you can adapt these customs for a live stream and encourage online guest participation. The deceased continues to lives as an ancestor. The body is then wrapped with white cloth and put into a coffin with their foot towards the main entrance of the house. For some, it is customary to witness the cremation. Facebook. Bring a gift such as white flowers. This ensures the deceased an easy journey to eternity. Families share stories, food, and offerings at the altar. If you're worried about selecting the right arrangement, white flowers are generally a welcome sympathy gift at a Vietnamese funeral, especially the white lotus. An unlucky day means bad fortune for the family. First, its important to see that ancestor worship is common, even encouraged, for Vietnam Catholics. All belongings of the deceased will be burnt for him or her to use in the afterlife. Regardless of methods, the persons eternal home is often at a cemetery. Buddhist dont eat meat products 49 days after the funeral (and most dont eat them at all!) Because the Vietnamese often attach great importance to their roles, it will help visitors not have to ask more questions, especially on the day of the funeral when the family is sure to be grieving and busy. Incense is set on the altar and burned. When back from the procession, the family will invite guests to lunch or dinner to show gratitude. White flowersespecially the white lotus, which symbolizes purification and regenerationare appropriate. However, they are allowed to pay their respects by bowing before the casket. Ghosts in Vietnam are known to take on many forms and do not fit into one category. The family altar is often carried to the gravesite where it is reassembled. Pregnant women are forbidden to attend a cremations since it is believed the released soul may become entrapped in the baby's body instead of continuing its journey into the spirit world. Some families also include a large red or vibrantly colored banner that hangs down as the background of the altar. The casket is placed in the main living area. so the deceaseds soul isnt connected to death. We're not kidding. Family members take turns sitting with the body while it is in the home. Musicians accompany the procession and play uplifting celebratory music if the deceased died a natural death after a long life. Why do Vietnamese people eat vegetarian at a funeral? Animistic beliefs (that all objects, people, and places have a spirit) are the cornerstone of Vietnamese funerals. Incense is lit, and offerings are made as part of the ceremony. If you have been invited to a Dam Gio, its customary to arrive with a death anniversary gift. Later, the family sends photographic mementos to family and friends that couldn't attend. These define the way to the home so mourners can find their way to the wake to pay their respects. Easily publish a free obituary, share funeral details, collect memories and more. Sally is a prolific non-fiction and fiction writer, who has appeared in multiple print and digital publications. Be mindful of the dress code. The great mourning time for a funeral in Vietnam is 3 years, but in reality only lasts 27 months, while there are many types of small mourning periods, ranging from 3 months to a year. After a visitation, friends and family usually share light refreshments and time for remembrance. This link will open in a new window. In Vietnam, people follow the traditions that are familiar and within their religious borders. Create a free Cake end-of-life planning profile and instantly share your health, legal, funeral, and legacy decisions with a loved one. Other families have pictures of their family members on theirVietnamese altar instead of hanging a colorful background panel. The baby's hair and nails must never be cut during the first . In the Vietnamese culture, remembering the death of a loved one and conducting a death ceremony is a filial act. AsianCustoms.eu, All Rights Reserved. Particularly, if the death is recent or hasnt exceeded two years, its important to be sensitive about what is communicated to the grieving family. If you choose flowers make sure to avoid reda color reserved for happy occasions, not funerals. Common meat cooked during Dam Gio include chicken, duck, seafood, and beef. For the convenience of work and for daily life, nowadays mourning clothes are only worn until the burial is completed, after that, a black bandage on the sleeve or a small black piece on the chest is acceptable. The son must also wear a straw hat wrapped with banana sheath and hold a cane (a round bamboo one if the father dies, a square cane made of Folium Erythrinae if the mother dies). First, the family will offer a simple meal to the deceaseds altar. Close relatives are invited for the two days of celebration, and they stay at the house of the host to help with preparations for the last day, which is most important. Family and friends sing hymns and soft music plays during a Catholic mass. What do white and yellow headbands mean at a Vietnamese funeral? Prayers, readings, and singing may be part of the service, depending on the religious affiliations and beliefs of the family. If the deceased's life was cut short due to misfortune, illness, or an accident, then the music is toned down to a proper somber tempo/style. In addition, the yellow color of chrysanthemums, gerberas, is also used to mean wishing the best to the spirits, so they can go to the afterlife safely and peacefully. There may be a meditation period and chanting. After a death, there is typically a visitation. . The beliefs, fears and rituals of people in the north of Vietnam are investigated.. Although death is an inevitable part of life, understanding its customs and beliefs can help to honor the memory of the deceased and show respect for their family. Cake values integrity and transparency. are not protected by an attorney-client privilege and are instead governed by our Privacy Policy. Hi, my name is Bich, and I do love traveling a lot. Many religious Vietnamese families are Buddhists. As day eases into night, the family will prepare a hearty dinner for the deceaseds altar. As soon as the family is certain their loved one is no longer alive, the cleansing ritual starts. Vietnam is full of death traditions, with the most important is ancestor worship. More guests tend to arrive with gifts such as fruit, wine, and baskets with tea, nuts, and alcohol. If you have been invited to a Dam Gio, its customary to arrive with a. . The Vietnamese celebrate this event and invite the spirits of their family members to visit their home and fulfill their filial responsibilities. Christmas Card Etiquette After a Death in the Family. According to Vietnamese funeral customs, if it is permanent, the grave will be built firmly, but if it is reburial, the grave is only lightly covered with earth and grass. I have a huge passion for exploring new places & different cultures. You should first find out the school of Buddhism the family belongs to if they are Buddhists. Youll see family and friends taking photos of their loved one in the casket. However, today, it usually lasts around three days. Instead, this is a festive day during which family members and friends gather to honor their family members who have passed away. The following anecdote detailing the death rituals of a Vietnamese family demonstrates that such rituals can have a therapeutic effect on the dying and bereaved. Mourners often wear white headbands. form. If you are attending a Dam Gio, be sure to familiarize yourself with the rituals and their significance so youre prepared to show respect towards the Vietnamese culture and the men and women being celebrated. Some families also include a large red or vibrantly colored banner that hangs down as the background of the altar. Funeral guests frequently give gifts of money to the family before the funeral. 2020. One of the most common things to see when visiting funerals in Vietnam is the wreath of flowers, with the sender's name on it and their goodbyes to the deceased. A deep reverence for elders is a cornerstone of Asian culture and an important part of Vietnamese funerals. forms. Once this ritual is done, everyone begins to eat and socialize, talking about their ancestors and eventually moving on to conversations about their lives and current events. As a nurse, Hoang "searched all over town for some morphine to relieve his pain [while] Grandchildren showed him how well they did in school.". Vietnamese Because of exposure to Agent Orange during the Vietnam War, older Vietnamese immigrants are potentially at risk for cancers, immune deficiency, endocrine disruption, and neurological damage. By spending quality time with family from all over and remembering their elders, they adhere to the important tradition of respecting their elders and honoring their loved ones. During visitation, the family sits at the front of the room, greeting those who have come to show support. They often keep their loved one at home after their death for anywhere ranging from three days to a month. Distant relatives only have to wear a Vietnamese funeral white headband, except the grandchildren might have different colors depending on their generations. The first Vietnamese believed they were the descendants of a dragon and an angel. Upon death, organ transplant and/or autopsies may be accepted with very careful explanation. The Western trumpet band is also mainly used in the South, usually playing at Cloth Wrapping and Body Placing stages, and when moving the coffin to its final resting place, but the family can request the music to be played whenever. The funeral music band follows with bittersweet melodies then comes family and guests. The deceased is washed once more and dressed in white clothing, then placed in the casket. The Dignity Memorial network includes affiliates of Service Corporation International, 1929 Allen Parkway, Houston, Texas, as well as many other fine independently owned and operated establishments. Other gifts include money to defray funeral costs, food, and decorative packages of incense. Atop a hill, the columbarium has views of Los Angeles and the San Gabriel Valley, as well as a birds-eye view of Sycamore Valley and SkyRose Chapel. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. Since filial responsibilities are weighed heavily in the Vietnamese culture, and proper death rituals according to one's abilities are important, death rituals give the bereaved a final chance to make it right by the deceased and thus provide a sense of continuity as well as final closure. For example, I was shocked to discover that Americans and perhaps, most citizens of the Western world do not photograph funerals or wakes. subject to our Terms of Use. Reincarnation plays an important role in Buddhist funeral traditions, as Buddhists see death as a transition from this life to the next, bringing the soul closer to Nirvana, a state of absolute bliss. Particular passions, milestone moments and legacies created weave together to tell a story that is completely unique. During the afternoon, food and offerings are arranged in front of an altar, and food is served on the table. Each family member places a food offering on the altar. Arriving at a funeral empty-handed is not a good gesture. Accept, Vietnamese Funeral Service Traditions & Protocol, Vietnamese Burials, Mourning, and Death Anniversaries, In this guide, well break down the history, traditions, and etiquette at Vietnamese funerals. You will see the body treated with the utmost care. There are many cultures with specific rituals and celebrations devoted to ancestral worship. At Cake, we help you create one for free. Even if the family isnt Buddhist you may find Buddhist traditions present, so its useful to be familiar with them. Do you still have questions about attending a Vietnamese funeral? For a funeral that honors your familys Vietnamese culture, customs and the wishes of your loved one, contact us. *Standard property includes mausoleums, niches, urn gardens and select lawns (10% savings). This period of mourning usually lasts 7 weeks (or 49 days). You will act with the same kind of somber respect as you would at any funeral. Typically, the family plays a key role in shaping a ceremony, as do monks or priests. Then, nails are clipped, and the body is dressed in new clothes. White mourning wreaths often use chrysanthemums, roses, lilies, to express the purity, modesty, and sophistication of the deceased in the eyes of the sender, as well as their mourning. A mix of political and religious history has made these funerals special to witness. Many take place in a funeral home, not a temple. Pinterest. Catholic families hold one mass, but Vietnamese Catholics offer mass for ancestral souls year-round. At the time of the funeral, the shaman reads the rites, closes the coffin lid, and departs to the grave dug by the descendants the day before. The men slaughter larger animals such as cows and pigs and take care of chores for the day. The flowers are gathered and taken to the cemetery or crematory. Rituals for Placing Body in Casket The casket is placed in the main living area. Gifts like wreaths for the casket, flowers, or money are all good choices. The main Catholic traditions observed in a Vietnamese funeral include: Most funeral rites are performed in the presence of the body. Thus, individuals or groups often show up with packs of incense sticks and sympathy money. One important aspect of their culture is how they deal with death. This belief dictates death planning for the Vietnamese. Death Rituals in Vietnamese Society. December 01, 2000, www.webs01.hsl.washington.edu/clinical/end-of-life/death-in-viet, Phung, Tuyen. As a unique part of culture and one of the oldest customs of the country, Vietnamese funerals include many strict procedures, rites and regulations, in terms of costumes, music, food, etc. | Terms | Privacy Policy. After the ritual is over, everyone proceeds to eat and talk about the passed family members life and experiences. In the past, family members prepared the food themselves. To Vietnamese, the passing of a person is as important as his birth. While setting up the altar, a family member will take care of hiring a music band to play at the funeral. If the family has an altar, it is decorated with photos of the deceased and flowers. Our expert guidance can make your life a little easier during this time. In accordance with traditional funeral rites, Filial Music in the North must express all 8 tones, using all kinds of musical instruments such as trumpet, flute, drum, lute, etc. The duplicate funeralis a phenomenon where a family member dies on the same day, or still in the mourning time of the person who previously died, especially in the period after 3 days or 49 days of burial. The family lights incense daily to remember their loved one. Death is a logical next step for Vietnamese elders that lived a full, happy life. 2023 LoveToKnow Media. The purpose of Dam Gio is to provide offerings to passed loved ones, so they are comfortable wherever they are. If you're attending a Catholic Vietnamese funeral, some traditions may include: Funeral Masses usually follow the standard Catholic service; however, there may be readings or reflections based on the life and beliefs of the deceased. Family and friends take turns keeping vigil over the body throughout the night. . As a result, the Vietnamese people consider Dam Gio to be an incredibly important celebration to do their duty and show respect to those who have gone on before. Let dogs, cats, or mice jump over the coffin, Cry too much or let tears fall on to the deceaseds body. In Vietnam, there are also many traditional superstitions about death. It's advisable to learn what to expect if you plan to attend a Vietnamese funeral. It is located at the eastern edge of mainland Southeast Asia , with an area of 311,699 square kilometres (120,348 sq mi) and population of 96 million, making it the world's sixteenth-most populous country . So they prepare great feasts for the dead to take on their journey. The relatives would ask for the afterlife name and last wishes, which are called testaments, then use five-spice water (ngu vi huong) to clean thebodyand change clothes. Celebrating a Death Anniversary in Vietnam. 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