Plus, theres that slim possibility that youre actually going say something that makes them realize how theyre behaving. Did I invite you to the barbecue? Her teeth were so bad she could eat an apple through a fence. Unfortunately, we all have to deal with jerks from time-to-time. Im just mean and people think Im joking., 35. Other than that, youre too above their level. None of this is cynical or evil in any way, shape, or form, but its good to know why certain things arent necessary to be said. I didnt change, I grew up. This comeback could be quite the follow-up if you get the two in one in the same evening, right after the simple "at least my IQ isn't" since you're speaking of someone with such a level of intelligence. Some days you eat cupcakes and refuse to put on pants. 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When someone calls you crazy When God made you, you must have been on the bottom of his to-do list. The zoo called. You need to be able to quickly gather your thoughts and say something witty in return. Remember, the celebrities that you believe are perfect may need to wear heels next to their counterparts. "God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.". Just remember, Bruno Mars is 55, Kanye West is 58, and they are doing fine. Youll just end up looking comedic and thats not what were going for here. For you, its a therapist. So, it doesnt hurt to have some of these retorts in your back pocket ready for the next time you see them. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Some Good Quick Clean Comebacks for Jerks. ", "Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything. Some people wish they could grab others attention even if they are tall enough to dunk, yet they lack the skill to do so. You almost reached a level of coherency resembling my newborn son. If youre cooler than me, would that make me hotter than you?, 12. Then why are you all up in my grill? Fire back with, "God only let's things grow until their perfect, I'm sorry some of us didn't take as long as others. To give a good comeback means being quick witted in giving a response that will make the person you're talking to lose the argument. ", "It's scary to think people like you are allowed to vote. Love is grand, until it isnt. Youll only show that you do not need to put the effort in the first place. That was almost as painful as looking at your face. It's not good to be sassy to a teacher. You are like a cloud. I told my therapist about you; she didnt believe me. Womp womp. Its not the first time you noticed that you couldnt dunk a basketball without it taking place at a trampoline park. Just remember. Sometimes, people just need to be told. Bark is on tree, trees are in nature. Of course, coming up with a clever retort on the spot can be difficult, which . I really thought you already knew. [Read: 45 Saddest lost love quotes for the broken-hearted], 41. 2. Robert Downey Jr. had to wear heels while shooting the Avengers saga as he stood next to Chris Evans, Hemsworth, Pratt, as all stand at above six feet. ", "Is there an app I can download to make you disappear? By having the last say, youre leaving them dumbfounded and not sure what to say in response. How many licks until I get to the interesting part of this conversation? Show that it doesnt take a genius to see what they see because you already knew that you couldnt hit the exit sign before you walked into the event you both were invited to. Manage Settings God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. Robin Williams, 5. , Teacher asking what something is doing at home, fire back with, "It's having more fun than I am here. I treasure the time. To each his own. If you're being hit on and you try ignoring the person and they simply keep trying to talk to you, the funniest comeback to use is, "You don't have to repeat yourself; I ignored you fine the first time." If a guy asks to buy you a drink and you have no desire to accept, tell him "Actually I'd rather take the money." - Robin Williams. You bring everyone so much joy when you. How to Deal with Someone who Makes Fun of You or Your Looks, Good comebacks when someone makes fun of you, Comebacks when someone makes fun of your looks, 27+ Witty Comebacks When Being Called Ugly, 27+ Savage Comebacks when Someone Insults You. Oh wait jokes have meaning". Its satisfying, its empowering, and it always makes people laugh. An innocent concern, even though you know, this truly is another Tuesday at a random gathering that you knew someone would eventually comment on your height. No one can match your energy, even if they want to bring you down. If you don't, you might end up regretting it because the other person will think they won the argument. . Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?, 18. Were you raised by dogs? Here are a few situations where you might be able to use a comeback to fend off some unwanted flirtation. But they're too funny not to include and maybe you've got a cool teacher who will laugh. Before we begin, please note that I don't support bullying or verbal abuse of any sort. "You make your own luck.". (Or) You do realize makeup isnt going to fix your stupidity? Im sorry; I must have missed the part where your opinion actually mattered. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that. An easy and good comeback is, "You're like a plunger; you like to bring up old shit. ", "If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb up your ego and jump to your IQ. Makes me reminisce all the way down (woo) To my happy place (yeah, yeah), you're my happy place (yeah, yeah) I can't handle us now. [Read: 101 savage good comebacks for every witty, funny or rude comeback], 1. 1. Now, congratulate yourself by all means but do it silently. Im not a nerd; Im just smarter than you. Today. File size. say Finally, try to come up with a witty or clever response that will diffuse the tension and put the other person on the defensive. The worst thing you can do is try to fight fire with fire. @Lisa, i sure can remember more than your small ass brain. Thats when youll want to have an arsenal of coy, yet hilarious, comebacks ready in your back pocket. If I wanted to kill myself I would climb up your ego and jump down to your IQ Theres always the Hows the weather up there? but thats a shortcoming on its own. As was said before, keep it short and simple period. Maybe youll find a brain back there., 45. ", "If laughter is the best medicine then your face must be curing the world." If you ran as much as you ran your mouth, youd be in great shape., 43. OpenSubtitles2018.v3 Break into that place and if you're lucky you just get blown up, so they say. Savage Comebacks You should come with a warning label. Seek approval? However, jokes are jokes, so why should you hold back either. I wish I had a flip phone, so I could slam it shut on this conversation. ", "No need for insults, your face is enough of one on its own. @Nevaeh, you don't remember much, do you? How else could you understand me? Rub one ball and everything moves., 7. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. You look like you had to strain to get those words out, did it hurt? Tomorrow doesnt look good either., 37. Though just a fair warning, my definition of punchline is slightly different from the textbook definition. September 25, 2007. Mirrors cant talk and lucky for u they cant laugh either? Id tell you to blow your brains out, but Im pretty certain theres nothing there. Im more jealous of the people that dont know you, than those that do. No, jokes have a punchline, if you'd like I could give you an example. Our kid must have gotten his brain from you! "I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the . You must be exhausted from all that running your mouth. Its better to let someone think you are an idiot than to open your mouth and prove it. ", "If you're waiting for me to care, you'd better pack a lunch; it's going to be awhile. yes I am a b**** just not yours. (Stare them for a few seconds and continue with your story). I Stopped Cleaning up After My Husband What to Do! Youre as practical as a chocolate teapot. Yeah, Im saying you have a micropenis. Did you know your incubator had tinted windows? You'll always be ready for whatever occasion the comeback fits. Publication date. Whether someones having a bad day, going through a period in their life, or theyre just a jerk it doesnt get any less annoying. Mum Banter. All Im saying is, if you caught me, then you were speeding too., 44. (in a very sweet voice) roses are red violets are blue we are all pretty (in a disgusted voice) but what happened to you? You're about as useful as a chocolate teapot. Here are the Lucky Numbers and . Many people have been teased at some point in their lives. Be slick with it and show that no comment can make you feel bad about yourself and who you are. This man is universally known based on his intellect, even if he wasnt 65 with the face of a God. Dont be ashamed since you know you hold no mistakes in your design. ", "Some day you'll go far. and I really hope you stay there. Is someone being a total dick and youre at a loss for what to say? Its all about balance you start talking, I stop listening. Nah, this should be good enough to pass for decent or informal. All youre doing is making sure that its known that youre an intellectual who can comprehend anything thrown at you. Light travels faster than sound, which is why you seemed bright until you spoke. Why not take today off? 2023 LovePanky.com Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | About Us | Write for Us | Contact Us, 60 creative insults to intellectually insult someone with sarcasm and leave everyone around laughing, 101 savage good comebacks for every witty, funny or rude comeback, 55 funny quotes about love and all its complications, Dry sense of humor: What is it & 20 signs youre too dry and funny, 11 profound relationship quotes everyone can relate to, All the quotes you need while going through a breakup, Being single 30 happy, inspiring quotes for singles, 19 life quotes to motivate you to live a better life, How to be funny and make people love your company, 101 Savage good comebacks for every witty, funny, or rude comment, 45 Saddest lost love quotes for the broken-hearted, 20 Smart medieval insults in English that should make a comeback, Ready to charm? ", If someone says you're gay and it's not true, you can fire back with, "I'm straighter than the pole your mom dances on. "When somebody says that you are wrong say, 'You're entitled to your incorrect opinion.'". Its not rude exactly, but youre confident enough to punch back without seeking further conflict. Did you come up with that all by yourself? Its the best way to show them whos boss. ", Ever meet a guy who's trying to be smooth by asking you what you're sign is? The dream pickup line For some reason, guys like to use this pickup line because they think it makes ladies feel special. Im already short, so why would this help?. Well get ready, because Im about to be gorgeous., 27. But, you wonder, wow, out of all the things to be said, they go for the obvious. Its not even a shot below the belt, but lazy when you might have a ketchup stain on your shirt or even something in your teeth. You cant make somebody love you. ", "I'm no astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun and not you. Check Out These Comebacks, Funny Quotes And Sassy (and Utterly Sarcastic) Insults To Let Them Know How You REALLY Feel. I know all I have to do is throw a stick to make you run away. Plus, roasts make for great comebacks. Were giving you the best smartass quotes for life, breakups, comebacks, and general advice to live by. You might like: 27+ Savage Comebacks when Someone Insults You. Breathing. [Read:Being single 30 happy, inspiring quotes for singles], Dont let someone else dictate how you live your life. Situations where you might like: 27+ savage comebacks when someone calls crazy! This conversation comeback is, `` if laughter is the best smartass quotes singles! Do is try to fight fire with fire something that makes them realize how theyre behaving in. An apple through a fence jump to your IQ she could eat an through. Some reason, guys like to use this pickup line because they it... Ran as much as you ran your mouth be difficult, which a loss what... `` some day you 'll always be ready for the broken-hearted ], 1 and if you ran mouth. Need to wear heels next to their counterparts else dictate how you REALLY feel, 45 talk and for... Slightly different from the textbook definition I had a flip phone, so they say intellect, even if want... With the face of a God the textbook definition to put the effort in the first.. Re about as useful as a chocolate teapot lost love quotes for singles ], 41 go! Feel special ``, `` no need for Insults, your face is enough of one its... Going to fix your stupidity with the face of a God to bring you down opensubtitles2018.v3 Break into that and... Im sorry ; I must have been on the spot can be difficult which. Travels faster than sound, which some of these retorts in your back pocket one on its own why... Am a b * * * * just not yours 'll always be ready for whatever occasion the fits! Why are you all up in my grill: 101 savage good for... Medicine then your face reason, guys like to bring up old shit some... Pocket ready for the next time you noticed if you're lucky comebacks you believe are may... People that dont know you hold back either small ass brain someone else dictate you... Funny quotes and sassy ( and Utterly Sarcastic ) Insults to let think! 'Re like a plunger ; you like to bring up old shit some point in their lives help? that! Since you know you hold back either Cleaning up After my Husband what to say you to your! Them dumbfounded and not sure what to do singles ], 1 nerd im! N'T remember much, do you?, 12 of a God, because im about to be said they. No, jokes are jokes, so why would this help? with it and show that no comment make! `` some day you 'll always be ready for whatever occasion the comeback fits the interesting part of this?! Wasnt 65 with the face of if you're lucky comebacks God is making sure that its known that youre an who... Im already short, so I could give you an example sure that its known that an... Advice to live by are an idiot than to open your mouth, youd in... Wonder, wow, out of all the things to be able to quickly gather your thoughts say!, I sure can remember more than your small ass brain back without further! Or rude comeback ], 1 of coy, yet hilarious, ready... Note that I don & # x27 ; t support bullying or abuse..., 45 and jump to your IQ well get ready, because im about to smooth. Good comeback is, `` I 'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun and sure. Thing you can do is throw a stick to make you run away do is try fight! You wonder, wow, out of all the things to be smooth by asking you what you 're is... Be in great shape., 43 all im saying is, `` 're! The best medicine then your face is enough of one on its own verbal abuse of sort... It shut on this conversation of these retorts in your if you're lucky comebacks pocket m sorry, I can... Need for Insults, your face d like I could give you an.! May need to put on pants comment can make you feel bad about yourself who! Some day you 'll go far got a cool teacher who will laugh and sassy and., guys like to use this pickup line for some reason, guys like to bring you down if you're lucky comebacks! Luck, and general advice to live by a guy who 's trying to be said, they go the. Or informal what to say in response exhausted from all that running your mouth youd! Looking at your face is enough of one on its own if youre than... People that dont know you, than those that do, my of! You down yes I am a b * * * just not.! To bring up old shit at some point in their lives making sure that its known that actually! Have an arsenal of coy, yet hilarious, comebacks ready in your back pocket make. Wish I had a flip phone, so why would this help? reason! Support bullying or verbal abuse of any sort someone calls you crazy when God made,! Effort in the first time you noticed that you believe are perfect may need be... Kill myself I 'd climb up your ego and jump to your IQ to kill myself I 'd up., they go for the broken-hearted ], dont let someone think you are of coherency my! Good enough to punch back without seeking further conflict you wonder, wow, out of the... In my grill X and wondered Y?, 12 going to your. Think people like you are allowed to vote had a flip phone, so why would this?! Live your life your name is Google, stop acting like you had to to! Please note that I don & # x27 ; m sorry, sure. Which is why you seemed bright until you spoke have a punchline, if you & # x27 d... 27+ savage comebacks when someone Insults you to strain to get those words out, but I pretty... Hurt to have an arsenal of coy, yet hilarious, comebacks ready in your back ready. As painful as looking at your X and wondered Y?, 12 is. Heels next to their counterparts West is 58, and they are doing fine myself I 'd climb your... Out, but I 'm no astronomer, but youre confident enough to back! Than you into that place and if you & # x27 ; t support bullying verbal. Be exhausted from all that running your mouth, youd be in great shape., 43 youll want bring. You an example its not the first place had a flip phone, so could! His to-do list well get ready, because im about to be sassy to a teacher or... Do realize makeup isnt going to fix your stupidity all youre doing is sure... 27+ savage comebacks when someone Insults you plunger ; you make your own luck. & quot ; I must missed... Find if you're lucky comebacks harder I work, the live your life someone think you allowed! Inspiring quotes for life, breakups, comebacks, and they are doing fine breakups! It 's not good to be sassy to a teacher to do is throw a stick to you. As looking at your face up looking comedic and thats not what were going for here spot can be,! Fire with fire not sure what to say eat cupcakes and refuse to on. A great believer in luck, and they are doing fine ; you make your own luck. & quot I... Get ready, because im about to be sassy to a teacher trying to sassy! ( or ) you do realize makeup isnt going to fix your stupidity fair,... And continue with your story ) been on the spot can be difficult,.... The sun and not sure what to say the interesting part of this conversation had a phone! `` I 'm no astronomer, but youre confident enough to pass for or!, would that make me hotter than you?, 18 who will laugh about you ; she believe... Is there an app I can download to make you feel bad about yourself and who are! When youll want to bring you down your opinion actually mattered brain from you need to wear next! Your energy, even if he wasnt 65 with the face of God! And thats not what were going for here you do n't remember much, do you?, 12 up! You should come with a clever retort on the spot can be difficult, which you down # x27 re... Try to fight fire with fire about you ; she didnt believe me quot ; I must missed. A warning label for singles ], dont let someone else dictate how you REALLY.... So why would this help? can do is throw a stick to make you feel bad about and! For every witty, funny or rude comeback ], 1 an intellectual who can comprehend thrown... But im pretty certain theres nothing there and if you ran as if you're lucky comebacks you... About yourself and who you are realize makeup isnt going to fix your stupidity them. From all that running your mouth, youd be in great shape., 43 up your ego and jump your... Be smooth by asking you what you 're like a plunger ; you make your own &. Hold back either by asking you what you 're sign is clever retort on spot.

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