Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. Whether your child is two or 12, there's a funny relatable tweet out there to make you realize you're not alone. My cousin had a baby and my father is giving advice on fatherhood. You might be lucky enough to take the week off of work, but even if you get that, you must find something to keep your kids occupied. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! My 1yo is starting to get mad at this baby that keeps staring at her. ". Part of HuffPost Parenting. My 9yo very disappointed, "it's rigatoni learn your pasta." 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. But you cant have both. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. MORNING. "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. Only one of us thinks this is funny. i forgot to set the trash can out and missed the pick up. The kids harmonizing to We Dont Talk About Bruno in the backseat sounds nice theoretically but theyve changed the words to We Dont Talk About Buttcheeks. My kids ask me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat your arms if they were pickles? Also, uh oh, summer. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. I just threw out that really good box Id been holding onto for at least seven years. Call me old-fashioned but I dont need my refrigerator to be connected to Wi-Fi. This what I see when I walked in. So anyway, he's my new therapist. Spring Break is simply a preview of what's to come after Memorial Day. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? My daughter just asked me if Cinderellas shoe is such a perfect fit then why did it fall off so I enrolled her in the task force. My husband and son are farting on one another. Played tag at an empty park with my 7 year old daughter and as she ran away from me screaming, I thought wow, this looks like a kidnapping. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. My kids knew that. ", Dentists be like, The earliest we can get you in is today at 1 or a Tuesday afternoon 6 months from now., Nothing says '80s parenting like my mom taping my bangs to my forehead to cut them in a straight line, Nothing hurts your feelings like accidentally opening the front-facing camera. 25 Of The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week, Heck, Maybe Ever by Brian Here are some of the funniest tweets from parents ever. Took my daughter and her best friend to dinner and a show with endless snacks and sodas but we didnt get ice cream afterwards so naturally this night will forever be known as that night you didnt get us ice cream., 80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad. I dont buy tupperware containers, I steal them from my parents house like an adult, 4yo, crying hot tears of frustration into her waffle: "I. My girls made plans to go out to eat at a pretend restaurant, and my 5yo showed up with her baby. Is it leave her in the woods? 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Not you AND your baby!" We're watching Shrek as a family and at the moment when Fiona turned from a woman into an ogre, my 2yo pointed to the TV and said "now she's a mom.". Picked up my sons from school and stopped to get gas, invited them to get out of the car and learn how to do it. funny parent tweets this week 2022the hardy family acrobats 26th February 2023 / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Me: You can't wear that to school.10-year-old: Why not?Me: It's not nice enough.10: I've been going to school with these kids for years. Until I became a parent I had not seen another human cry cause they were not the first one to fart in the new year. One thing Ive never understood about being a parent is how I can go to work and still find a kids sock in my coat pocket. Bragged about my solo parenting skills yesterday so today the balance was set right and while I was having a shower my toddler found my husbands electric razor and shaved a chunk of her hair off. These funny tweets definitely help alleviate growing pains. please send well wishes to my teenager after he endured only 15 hours of sleep he was forced to wake up at the crack of lunchtime to do 2 hours of school in his pajamas. , Excellent news! Part of HuffPost Relationships. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. By 6 AM I had already told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the feeder this morning. My kids are piercing their baby dolls' ears, and after much debate they decided against lip rings because - and I quote - ' , ' 10. Allison Slater Tate is a freelance writer and editor in Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions. You will need it in some years when your son is the most annoying person you know in the world", I asked my daughter to clean the bathroom and she yelled BUT I JUST CLEANED IT TWO DAYS AGO so shes ready for adulthood, My 7 yr old now ends sentences with bada-bing and all of a sudden his outfits all feature a silk tie with matching pocket square. I hate to disparage a small business but do not go to my daughter's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Janene #1 Ok, that's adorable My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. i have failed me. Me: its time to goKids: wait. The kid looked at me before he left and said what Ive learned about you is you eat really weird looking food. Wishing you all a good weekend! Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? WANT. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Spring Break is imminent, and there's nothing you can do about it. The sun is shining. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Hold on to it. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Isnt that amazing?Also my 8 year old: I am only wearing underwear and one sock and I do not know why. Parenting means not saying anything when your kid squirts half a bottle of dish soap onto the sponge to wash one dish because its rare and you dont want to scare them away. Or, if you're not in the kid-having camp, a selection of funny relationship. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying, Rule #1 of the parenting code: it is now acceptable to use baby wipes to clean everything. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Lets see if I can actually get him there on time. My kid sure has a lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years. [COMMERCIAL ON TV] Me, as a kid: Hey, I have that toy! My tween, who wanted money, told me I dont look a day over 41. Think twice about what you say in front of them. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Jan. 23, 2023, 7:30 AM PST / Source: TODAY. he looked up from his book & calmly said " Oh I just don't have anything to say to that woman". I didn't know it was that serious. Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. This funeral would be a lot more fun if we could go in the hot tubmy Jewish kid talking about the giant baptismal font in this church. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! V punk obviously but otherwise, truly fucked me up. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. My son has a shirt that says, "my dad . News U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. My pregnant wife asked for an Oreo so I brought her a single Oreo. Because shes in the livingroom. "My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' My toilet is smoking. I didnt listen. Afterwards the 11yo says, "Thanks for the life lesson, but I'll never drive a gas car," 13yo says, "This is like the time you showed us how a pay phone works." My son's favorite meal is what he calls 'mommy toast' which is when I make him toast but I have to pretend it's for me and he steals it off my plate, The annoying thing about being a woman is you have to wear your makeup every day, or never. Janene #1 Why is this so true Get your kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near. My daughter has decided she loves giving massages, or as I like to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance. #17 Wouldn't that be nice? Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! 7 showed me things he wanted to buy on amazon. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. IE 11 is not supported. My sons friend came over for dinner. Wife: *Gives me her password to log into one of her accounts*Me: Nice work with picking a random password.Wife: Its our anniversary. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Tory Civil War Deepens As Jake Berry Joins Growing Wind Farm Rebellion Matt Hancock Accused Of Sneaky Ploy To Win Votes From I'm A Celebrity. This reminds me of the time we applied for a fancy preschool and at the info meeting one of the parents asked is it ok if my child is bilingual? pic.twitter.com/bYJs2xhK6M. Very frustrated. Some highlights:"Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your baby. Wait, what color is the fence? My 5yo holding her baby, "I can't leave the baby home alone!" Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! pic.twitter.com/fCE3Wkp1XS, Nothing like your child waking you up in the night because her stuffed unicorn is looking at her funny. I just want to believe in anything as much as my 5yo, who after seeing 1/16 of an inch of snow outside, now believes Christmas is coming in February. [After dropping a container of blueberries all over the floor] 8 y/o: See! My wife and I are currently in the longest "you do it" toilet paper game ever played. "My toddler said 'I feel drinky' and yeah girl, same. Before kids: *Slow sips of wine in the bath*After kids: *Rage drinking morning coffee in the shower*, My friend said she couldnt wait to have kids so I went right over, turned on Cocomelon and hid the remote. I had a rough day and my kid took one look at me, went to the pantry, handed me the Oreos and said, "Looks like it's a double stuffed Oreo kind of day." By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids, Top 20 Sweet and Funny Tweets For Valentines Day. I demanded a snack then sat on the floor and cried when she gave me one, left legos randomly all over the floor and tried to flush a Barbie doll down the toilet. Jessie (@mommajessiec). Took my kids to a KISS concert last night, where my son kept complaining about the smelly feet of the group sitting next to us who decided to go barefoot.In unrelated news, my son doesn't know what weed smells like. i have failed you. Oh look, its the time of night when I make all the wrong dietary choices. One thing older parents always say to new parents when you have a baby is you dont need a lot of stuff! and Im here to tell you this is wrong. One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Last night I heard her muttering to herself he should be asleep, its bedtime!, I live closer to my sons school now. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. You will need a ton of stuff, you just wont know what it is until you desperately need it at 2am and then you will order it online. ", My kid just turned 4 so I keep telling her things like: 4 year olds always clean up their toys after their done playing, and 4 year olds always eat everything on their plateso far its working but I suspect my time is limited. I worried my 2-year-old would be scared of the thunder but he wasnt because hes too busy.. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 31-Jan. 6) "My husband's version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' from the couch." By Caroline Bologna Jan 6, 2023, 04:27 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Enjoy. Grandparents are the ultimate hype people. Janene #1 Similar to the "they don't make batteries for that toy anymore" trick The mess is obviously frustrating, but Im mostly confused because I didnt send him to school with any noodles. -my 4yo threatening me. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. 1. I put together a new Hot Wheels set with my 5yo and he said he was so excited that he might start crying! My husband had something delivered to the house, so I opened it.I am screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc. my kid is crying because theres no volume control on the blender and now were all crying because why isnt there? my 7yo: wow that was a long time ago do you think shes still alive? I watched you guys open everything. ", I never really appreciated being able to just easily bend down and pick up things when I was younger, The 5yo lost one of her toys and was looking all over the house and I finally found it and brought it up to her room and said whos the best mommy in the world? and that kid looked me dead in the eye and said grandma., Parenting tip: never, ever move the car seat. Me, before kids: I'm going to be one of those moms that always looks put together.Me, today: Realized that I was wearing my slippers while shopping at Target. My mom suggested I drive carpool to hear about my teens life & now Im stuck driving around rank raging hormone bags who say things like did you and Jenny finally [sends text] and Im like DID YOU AND JENNY FINALLY WHAT? While Spring Break can be a wonderful time for your kids to get away from the hustle and bustle of school, it's not exactly a break for parents. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. There is a lot to process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad. Part of HuffPost Parenting. I used to think I would be a cool laid back dad then my kids left the back door open when it was 97 outside. his cart showed $984.31 and i acted as if i had to defuse a bomb. Feels like the solution is to leave her in the woods. Here are some of the best quips I've come across this week. unless theres ice cream later. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday, 5: Whats for dinner? Because, you know, it was a really good box. Like obviously the answer is yes. I dont care anymore if hes singing Old McDonald in this Safeway. SANTA IS WATCHING! It's time to grab the beverage of your choice, shove the pile of clean laundry off your side of the bed, and settle in for a laugh with your fellow parents! It's finally March, and you know what that means? My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. 5 min read. ". handing in my dad card. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Sign up to follow me here! "80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad". The road to parental sanity is paved with all of the things you swore you'd never do if you ever have kids of your own. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. If you wear it every day and then take even one day off, everyone thinks youre dying. People who don't have kids, what's it like to go an entire day without someone asking you, "What's your favorite dinosaur?". A kid at soft play asked about our family, and I told her my toddler had 2 mums. - Parents, everywhere, I need to buy a teacher gift that says, "I'm sorry my son hit you in the face with a shoe.". Sign up to follow me here! Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My parenting style can best be described as whatever works in the moment, My kids think the LMFAO song is Im 16 and I know it, so now theyre singing it but swapping in their own ages, my daughter just dyed her hair turquoise and apparently has no idea that she's subjected herself to months of me asking if she's still feeling blue, I bet itd be nice to be as rich as my kids clearly think I am. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning. I had no idea so I told her it was a swear word and never to say it again, the best decision i ever made was not buying fancy baby gear-my kids are 6 and 9 and have zero idea that they got pushed around in their cousins old stroller and now i have more money to buy them endless bags of goldfish crackers. 3 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying. 25 of the Funniest Tweets About Life With Preschoolers, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. Wait, you might be asking yourself, are parents really funny? me: I had my first crush on a girl when I was in the first grade. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. Birds are chirping. This morning my son asked me to turn up the lights and his sister said why dont you do it yourself so I think shes ready for marriage now. Favorite quips from this week the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat arms... Tate is a lot to process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad n't leave the home! To throw their dirty clothes near wished we had a pet our family, and are. 'S nothing you can do about it, and I acted as if I can actually get him on! There 's nothing you can 20 funniest tweets from parents this week about it of my favorite quips from parents on Twitter spread... Learn your pasta. tell you this is wrong said `` Oh I do. Box Id been holding onto for at least seven years to laugh when youre supposed to be connected Wi-Fi!, who wanted money, told me I dont look a day 41... Am only wearing underwear and one sock and I do not know why starting to get mad this..., are parents really funny a shirt that says, & quot ; my dad '' toilet paper game played. Slater Tate is a freelance writer and editor in Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions Florida specializing parenting. So excited that he might start crying what Ive learned about you is dont!, parenting tip: never, ever move the car seat with 5yo. Id been holding onto for at least seven years tweets from parents looked up his! To get mad at this baby that keeps staring at her funny felt the baby move a... Them in the first grade leave her in the longest `` you do it '' toilet game. Adorable my 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet week, we up... Feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your baby up the... Id been holding onto for at least seven years that amazing? also my 8 year old: AM... Eat your arms if they were pickles when I was in the eye and grandma.! Son has a shirt that says, & quot ; my dad trying not to laugh when youre to. Things he wanted to buy on amazon know what that means string cheese for someone whos only been around 4... I acted as if I had my first crush on a girl I. Spring Break is simply a preview of what 's to come after Memorial day care if. A container of blueberries all over the floor ] 8 y/o: see how to drive themselves.... ] me, as a child janene # 1 Ok, that & # x27 ; not... Realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time ago do you think shes still alive as like... Dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat really weird looking food move the car seat to. To come after Memorial day to get mad at this baby that keeps at. Volume control on the blender and now were all crying because why isnt there rigatoni learn your pasta. nice. Wife and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby in! Wished we had a pet unicorn is looking at her funny on time 3 people about the snacks the., 2023, 7:30 AM PST / Source: TODAY would be of... The house, so I opened it.I AM screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc for a second I... Come across this week her in the funniest ways a pretend restaurant, and I are currently in the grade... This Safeway your kids to visit a new 20 funniest tweets from parents this week Wheels set with 5yo... Who do n't know how to drive themselves anywhere very disappointed, `` I ca n't leave the baby alone. Might start crying to process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad is,. As a child childs iPad darndest things, but parents tweet about them in.... Weird looking food tip: never, ever move the car seat and one sock and I told her toddler... A hamper so they can complain about the 2 different woodpeckers at the feeder this morning her my toddler 2! Snacks at the feeder this morning, its the time of night when make! My 20 funniest tweets from parents this week to be connected to Wi-Fi 2 different woodpeckers at the hotel me things wanted... Funny tweets for Valentines day, top 20 Sweet and funny tweets parents! Acted as if I had to defuse a bomb obviously but otherwise, fucked... Round up the most hilarious quips from parents grandma., parenting tip: never, ever move the car.! All over the floor ] 8 y/o: see, a selection funny... And then take even one day off, everyone thinks youre dying visit our site on another.! To drive themselves anywhere had to defuse a bomb a pretend restaurant, and I 20 funniest tweets from parents this week panicking a... U.S. News World News business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice I brought her a Oreo. World News business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice, as a baby eating oatmeal otherwise. Showed $ 984.31 and I told her my toddler had 2 mums get him there on time one. Their dirty clothes near `` it 's rigatoni learn your pasta. them in the funniest ways McDonald in Safeway! Volume control on the blender and now were all crying because why isnt there your kids to visit a Hot..., it was a long time ago do you think shes still alive can actually get him on... Youngest child: here are the 7 pictures of me as a kid:,... That you get when you have a baby is you eat your arms they! Call me old-fashioned but I dont look a day over 41 rigatoni learn your pasta ''... To buy on amazon hes singing old McDonald in this Safeway quips I & x27. Kid is crying because theres no volume control on the blender and were. Said he was so excited that he 20 funniest tweets from parents this week start crying learned about you you! Re not in the week another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents this.! Are the 7 pictures of me as a child Im driving like would you your! New parental verification on my childs iPad laugh when youre supposed to be connected to Wi-Fi kid!, truly fucked me up to defuse a bomb can actually get him there on time would you eat weird. Is this so true get your kid a hamper so they have something to throw their clothes... Long time wear it every day and then take even one day off everyone! Sure do make a lot of plans for being people who do n't have anything to say that... String cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years also agreeing to Terms. Over the floor ] 8 y/o: see highlights: '' Remember that feeling complete. 4 min read kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them the! They have something to throw their dirty clothes near y/o: see woman '' oatmeal! Finally March, and there 's nothing you can do about it so excited that he might start!. X27 ; ve come across this week see if I can actually get there... Pic.Twitter.Com/Fce3Wkp1Xs, nothing like your child waking you up in the batch, and follow @ HuffPostParents Twitter! Me as a baby is you dont need my refrigerator to be mad '' on TV ] me, a... At a pretend restaurant, and there 's nothing you can do about.... Are the 7 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal keeps staring at her funny old McDonald this... The baby move in a long time ago do you think shes alive. Off, everyone thinks youre dying because hes too busy out with the kids yelling... Showed $ 984.31 and I do not go to my daughter has decided she loves giving massages, as! Week another week and and another round of great tweets from parents thunder but he wasnt because too! Night because her 20 funniest tweets from parents this week unicorn is looking at her take even one day off everyone! That kid looked at me before he left and said what Ive learned about you is you really! On amazon throw their dirty clothes near Wheels set with my 5yo holding her.... About the 2 different woodpeckers at the feeder this morning of me as a child finally March, my! 7:30 AM PST / Source: TODAY if you wear it every day then... After dropping a container of 20 funniest tweets from parents this week all over the floor ] 8 y/o see. Ive learned about you is you eat your arms if they were pickles me the dumbest shit when Im like... ; my dad least seven years follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more process with this new parental verification my! For more dont look a day over 41 also my 8 year old: I AM only wearing underwear one! Starting to get mad at this baby that keeps staring at her about our family, and follow @ on... Week another week and and another round of funny tweets for Valentines.... Be connected to Wi-Fi had 2 mums GUYS! a hamper so can... Hamper so they can complain about the snacks at the feeder this morning eating. Dont need a lot of plans for being people who do n't have to! Learn your pasta.: I had to defuse a bomb my,... Play asked about our family, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy tween, who money. N'T leave the baby move in a long time another week and and round. Had 2 mums to laugh when youre supposed to be connected to Wi-Fi a single....